Favourite Things

The best thing about having a blog is you get to share stuff you like with your imaginary readers........I like sharing:-)

I LOVE advertisements!! These three are my current fave...actually, the first, the Aero chocolate one, remains my 'Favourite Advert of All Time'. Its the strangest thing but once I see Jason Lewis, a smile unconsciously finds its way unto my face...ridamndiculous! I think its the dimples....

1. INFAMOUS AERO



2. REESE'S



3. ALPEN

I just saw this one recently but I think its quite funny!

Favourite Things

I really love poetry and wish I had the talent and skill to say so much with so little. 

Another one of my fave poems and yes, I'm aware my inner cheeseball is showing and wreaking havoc on my e-thug reputation on these mean virtual reality streets;-)

He Wishes For The Cloths Of Heaven by William Butler Yeats

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams

I heard.....

Panama: "I'm actually a slight variation of the 'Devil On Your Shoulder' Friend. Then again I'm also the ni99a that will tell you to jump off a bridge if you call me talking about ending your life. Don't talk about it, be about it!...

*Panama on Suicide Hotline*: "You wanna slit your wrists? Well go 'head then! What you calling me fo'??!" *click*..."

-Comment on verysmartbrothas.com

The Lady, Her Lion.....& Her Lawd!

If you have ever had a weave tightly knit to your skull by way of hair thread and a piercing needle, you would know that the experience of robbing a goat, sheep, horse, or Indian man of his luscious locks, attaching these to your own (probably thinning) mane for your enhanced self-beautification is a complex road to travel.

This process informally called ‘Weaving’ and fancily called‘Artificial Hair Integration' (I kid you not), is most practiced among the Fabulous and Indomitable Negroes of The World. In fact with regards to hair, the average black woman operates strictly on the 'Guilty Until Proven Innocent' theory. Hence, she is immediately suspicious, to the point of paranoia, of any other black woman's hair that is too thick, too full (especially at the nape and temple) AND too long. Where all three are present, the question “Er, excuse me....what weave is this?!?!” is inevitable. Lifelong friendships have been started over hair discussions like this. That's why God gave us our coarse hair and the desire for finer hair... because He knew black women (The Nefrotitis of Fronting) would rather sit pretending not to notice each other even when alone in an empty room than be friendly and make conversation with other pretty black women...or is that just Nigerian girls?! I digress.

I want to make like self-righteous 'PETA', ‘Happy Nappy’, ‘Negroes Keeping It Real’ and other such ‘BLACK & PROUD’ groups and say that the act of moving, shaking and generally enjoying life with an extension-filled head of Chantal Biya proportions...leaving balding and shivering horses or humans in your wake...is a terrible side-effect of the global media and its unattainable and Europeanised standards of beauty and should be condemned post haste.

BUT I remember moments when I have strutted down streets, arms a-swinging, hips a-swaying, men a-whistling, confidence a-emanating(words a-creating)....with artificially integrated hair billowing in the wind as i generate my own breeze and my fabulosity level increases exponentially....and alas, I find that I can not condemn The Weave. The Weave, European ideals of beauty be damned, is a wonderful, wonderful invention that I applaud with gusto. If several sheep have to be sheared for my sake well then so be it. Isaiah 66:1 says, “....the earth is God’s footstool and everything in it....”.....same Bible says “Dont you know that you yourselves are gods?”(1 Corinthians 3:16)...Therefore, the earth is my footstool as a god and as I have dominion over it all...clean-shaven sheep and balding horse are certainly not excluded, PETA be damned! *Looks over her shoulder worriedly*

Today, my issue is not with the rightness of Afroborn ‘sistAHs’ straightening their tightly curled hair using lava-hot temperatures or aluminum-can eroding chemicals to achieve (an ideal of) beauty. As one of such women, a solid partaker of the Cream Crack (alias No Lye Relaxer), I do not think that I have been brainwashed from childhood (as often suggested by Happy Nappy's Against Straight Hair) by the foreign media to believe that Straight is Great anymore than I have been brainwashed by them through watching Eurocentric Anglo-Saxons on my telly, to believe that White is Always Right. Then again if I had indeed been brainwashed of course I would say the same thing....so maybe I have been brainwashed and I don't even know. Or care.

Catch 22 aside, the conspiracy theorist in me will admit that the Disney Princesses, Jem and The Holograms, Sky Dancers and so on, all seemed to have been secret Protene Pro-V advertisements, with their long gleaming locks. And maybe the subconscious message was indeed indoctrinated into our innocent and rather vacuous minds that straight (AND loooong, I’m an unashamed 18inches Premium Human Hair addict baybay!!!) is the ideal of beauty. But if it indeed was, why are we not also strolling about with the bright pink/neon green/pale orange bushy 80’s hair of many a Hannah Barbera heroine too?

Somehow, along the line (as is always the case whenever a group voluntarily and often unnecessarily decides to take on an imagined slight on behalf of a whole race/minority/ethnic group/country/tribe/hut/anthill, who more often than not could not possibly care less if they tried) too many people bandwagon the original cause, the cause is diluted, confused or just plain deviates from its original path and like a stoneless Hansel and Gretel, all the sheeplike followers are led away from Grandmamas cottage, straight to the too good to be true Witches Guesthouse.

So, on the weave debate, a group of happy nappys decided that all those who dared to change their God-given locks by covering, straightening, gel-ing, hot-combing, burning straight via relaxer, or exchanging it for sure-as-hell-doesnt-look-like-it-grew-from-your-scalp-lace fronts were in some way terrible people who were deeply ashamed of their race ad heritage and want to be white by conforming to someone else’s standards of beauty. *Shrugs* It's not that serious. Brainwashed or not, if my hair refuses to graze the small of my back despite all my efforts, best believe I will rob many a sheep, goat OR she-goat to get the look I want. To define a full, rounded, 3D human being by only their hair is The Daftness and that is the kind of brainwashing that we as a world should be more afraid of.

Now, as a faithful weave fiend, I have to say that one thing that causes me pause in the Hamletesque ‘To Weave or Not To Weave’ debate, and indeed one thing I think the race should focus on and find an answer to in lieu of arguing about skin complexions and hair is; HOW THE HELL DOES ONE GET AIR INTO THE SCALP WHEN ONE HAS A WEAVE?!?! I beg you I need an answer because I have seen grown women almost give themselves a concussion from knocking their heads with palms splayed wide in the name of fixing an itch in their now untouchable skulls. I have also witnessed incredibly intelligent women come frighteningly close to scalping themselves as they try to maneuver a tiny but incredibly sharp object through the crevices of their weave, between and betwixt the fields of neatly corn-rowed hair to itchy scalps. Hell, I have BEEN those women!

As a race, in fact forget that, as a world we need to come up with the answer to this perplexing conundrum before black women become extinct from concussions and scalping. The alternative is to bring back the 70’s; spandex, neon and unpicked afros......”Oh Miss Wintour.....”


See Chris Rock's 'Good Hair'

I heard.....

"AIDS is a commercial strategy to market condoms"-With ignorance like this, its no wonder AIDS took on a wildfire quality in Africa.