Single & Mighty

Randomly going through notes I’d written on my ipod from ages ago and I found some gems I’d written and forgotten on the crafty device for about a year. Between seven different ‘Things To Do’ lists and notes on random gossip my sister and I had indulged in at church (I use the bible on my ipod in church), were some notes that made me smile, side-eye myself and/or pause to think. One of these pretty hard rocks was a note I had made from a House On The Rock program I’d attended called...wait for it...SINGLE & MIGHTY. *so many jokes, so little time*.

Before you judge me as a typical Nigerian woman attending Single Fellowships in hopes of bumping into my Mr Right With God a.k.a JesusIsMyNiggah, the program came on a day where I had asked God “Please send me some advice for _____ relationship problem before I do something Typical Me l #Kano.Add the fact that my pastor from my church in England was one of the visiting pastors...ok, ok and the fact that charlatans all over the city were touting rumours of free snacks and such...but that’s neither here nor there.

Anyways, I enjoyed reading this note I made because it’s really in line with how I feel about marriage at the moment. The culture in Nigeria is so marriage-minded, marriage is so touted as the ultimate accomplishment that many people get themselves in sticky situations in the process of attaining and keeping this ‘holy marital grail’. But thats a post for a whole ‘nother day yo! Below are the short notes i made with liberal sprinklings of incomplete sentences and huge chunks of my own paraphrasing. Hopefully someone will be able to follow and get some pick pearls from swine:).

Pastor Tai Adeshugba from Worship Taberncale church;


“Marriage is a means to an end not an end in itself. Being single and being married are not ultimate goals in themselves, rather they’re a part of the process of living. Singleness is an essential pathway, a transitional stage on the way to marriage so enjoy it while it lasts.

It is important to empower yourself as a single person. Being single does not put disadvantage you in any way. Being single is an opportunity to focus on yoursels; to find and study your purpose in this life. This is what this time is for; praparation, understanding yourself, learning why you were put on this earth. This is a journey we need to all go on alone. This is why you should find your purpose before you get married. People are looking for complete people, not people who are looking to be completed because that is a heavy responsibility for another human to bear. Sometimes, God brings you along to propel a significant other to where they are supposed to be and in so doing, you propel yourself too.


So what do you do with your years of pre-marital bliss?

Expect the best.

Prov 23:18.

If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you will often get it. Your mind set should be: “If God told me to live in this way and I am following His words, He will bring the best for me”. You want the best, you have to be prepared to wait for the best. In your waiting, always maintain a positive attitude, people who expect negative things are usually not disappointed. Many times, your expectations determine your results. So motivate yourself to be the best YOU that you can be; challenge all self limiting beliefs as you will always see what you already believe. Don’t focus on your faults, work on them, highlight your strengths. Selling yourself short will make you settle for less than you should.


2. Be the best
Do whatever you do excellently well, it is in thIS that you find fulfillment. Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best position for the next moment. Focus on being a Purpose NOT Passion Driven person. Remember, until you're over qualified in your current position you are not due for a promotion. See Daniel 3:6
Daniel distinguished himself from the other (incredibly good) contenders. What is it about you that is special?

To get the best out of others you have to be the best of yourself. Remember, Life puts the best things out of the reach of Mediocrity. Try to bring the best out of every inordinate development.

Prepare yourself for marriage...
Women don't have problems submitting... to men who make right decisions. If you're going to lead, be the best...Provider protector Priest you can be.
Find and develop your purpose in a line that will sustain you in the long term.
Do not look for wealth in a partner first, search for; potential vision passion purpose...there are many undiscovered ‘diamond in the rough’ characters.


3. Do the best

“Whatever your hands find to do, do it well.”-Ecclesiastes 9:10. Whatever you do, do it with all your might. Give it your all. Develop, for yourself, a culture of maintenance. Your best is what is in you not what is around you so even without resources, you are wired to progress. God blesses the works of our hands, the passage does not say “He blesses our hands”. You have a responsibility. As Pablo Picasso said, inspiration will come but when it does...let it find you working.

Do not be weary in well doing (Galatians 6:9).

4. Start living in the moment