I heard...

"If she's amazing, she won't be easy
If she's easy, she won't be amazing.
If she's worth it, you won't give up.
If you give up...maybe you're not worth it?"

-Paraphrased from www.christianarants.com

My Purpose Driven Life. I Think...Pt II

This is the second half of a (long) post I wrote earlier, on life and courage. I said before that the older i grow, the more responsibility I am faced with and the more I realise that to maintain my focus I need to put my life in order. I need to 'prune' my life into place, I think. Because I really really believe your life should only contain things that matter:)

In the process of pruning, I’ve had to make some difficult decisions but I’m learning that good, solid…and correct… decisions leave you a little sad, but much more at peace with yourself. In the end you’re stuck with yourself for eternity, do you really want to keep justifying your choices to yourself? Better to do the right thing, not the convenient thing, hard as it may be and be at peace. I think. That’s where the serenity quote comes in. You really need wisdom to determine what is worth letting go of in your life, and what deserves to be retained. Because your life should only be full of things that matter; to your happiness, your peace and self-worth.

We need God’s help to accept that there will always be things we can not change even by working, wishing or waiting. We have to accept that, serenely. Not with excessive bouts of regret, self-pity or Jazmine Sullivan style Busting Windows of Cars but with calmness flowing from an inner confidence that all things will work together for your good no matter what today looks like. You need that attitude to weather the storms of life because Life is not for small kids! LOL! It can throw you some curve balls that understandably warrant a madness-demonstrating response…but you can't always give in to emotional impulses or you will drain yourself. Save your energy, cultivate serenity.

And for the things that are in our power to change, we need the courage from Him to take that first step on a journey of change. That’s often all you need. And God knows that. Any huge task starts with the very first attempt. Just as a journey of a thousand miles, begins with one step….random story, I had a Japanese friend called Ayumi which apparently means that first step in a long journey. Cool no? No? Ok, moving on. See Joshua 1:8, where Joshua is about to take the mantle of leadership of millions of people, from the much loved and well respected Moses. Imagin the anxiety! But God has absolute confidence in Joshua’s ability to rule, and rule well. And as if He knows that Joshua is nervous, He tells him: “ONLY be strong and very courageous”. As if that is all he needs to succeed. I really love that scripture. God understands fear, in particular, MY fears. In church on Sunday the pastor said “…courage is not the absence of fear, it is the mastery of fear. In the absence of fear, there is no need for courage.” We need to face our fears head-on and challenge them to do the worst they can. That’s the only way you bring yourself to the next level in your life. Otherwise you’re perpetually bound by your own fears, you wonder why you’re not growing but you can’t see that you are the one limiting yourself.

I find that I women sacrifice themselves easily, we prioritise other people to our detriment. Giving up on that and redirecting focus on yourself can be difficult. But when you prioritise your own aspirations, let go of things that hold you back, are courageous enough to go for gold & goals, and you trust your decisions then your peace of mind is guaranteed, your confidence in your abilities and love for yourself grows. Suddenly, you feel like you own the World, his fastidious father and his bootilicious babymama!

So in this journey to Purpose, here is what I wish myself and all women in the similar boat of finding themselves and running with a vision; “I wish you strong trust in yourself and faith in the future. The belief that you will make the right choices to bring you closer to the happiness you deserve. I wish you friends to surround you in the circle of their caring and love and people to help you laugh at life”. (Gotten from a birthday card I bought myself on my 22nd birthday and randomly found in my closet yesterday. Yes I bought myself a birthday card...lol…please focus!).

And some encouragement for those of us on the precipice of a difficult pruning decision…and for those currently working out a dream too, I’ll tell you what they told me in church on Sunday:

(Conversation between God and *insert your name here*)

God: “I’ll be with you. I wont give up on you ________; I wont leave you. Be strong and of good courage…Give it everything you have, heart and soul…don’t get off track, either left or right, so as to ensure you get where you’re going. And don’t for a minute let this Book of the Revelation (iLovit!) be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night (consistency!), make sure you practice everything written in it. Then you’ll get where you’re going; then you’ll succeed. Only be strong and very courageous, don’t be timid, don’t get discouraged __________. God, your God is with you every step you take.” –Joshua 1:5-8 Msg & KJV.

God knows that doing the right thing is never easy. You’re not alone.

I Hear You But I Can NOT Listen...!

My capability for unearthing foolery and mayhem even in the midst of the most civil and serious situations is surprising to some…as is my consistent search for fodder to feed my active imagination. The Nigerian Law School, which I am currently enrolled in, is the perfect place for such fodder as it is a veritable treasure chest of laughs. When I started a few months ago, there were only ‘foreign' students at the school. By foreign, I refer to students who have obtained a degree in any jurisdiction besides Nigeria. I suspect that the second, equally important, requirement to undertake the course as a ‘foreign’ student is the ability to speak in a contrived accent. The more unfortunate sounding the better, I believe. Or how else do we explain the questionable accents prevalent in this place?! And you know it can not be easy to maintain! We’re talking saliva collating, tongue stressing, cheek chewing accents that often do more to expose the little village in Eastern Nigeria from whence the speaker doth commeth rather than a world-class education at an accredited UK university. Amazingly, we never have any Ghanaian, Romanian or Malaysian accents in the proliferation of English and American ones, despite the fact that the registration book clearly shows substantial figures from universities kilometres away from the Great Britain and American shores. Epic Fail surely?

But we digress.

Now, the second half of the course has begun, and a host of even more questionable characters have invaded the campus. The ‘real’ Nigerian students are upon us. By real, I mean students who studied within the porous ports of the Nigerian territory. As I leave the first class of the new term, I am compelled to quietly mutter to myself “…the idiots outnumber us”. By this I do not suggest the ‘real’ Nigerians are in any way less intelligent, if anything the opposite appears to be the case. However there exists among their number too many ‘students’ who appear unable to conjugate tenses, use conjunctions or pronounce basic English words, to ignore. Each day in class is an escalated fun-fest. Certainly not what you would typically label a class of ambitious potential lawyers and intelligent lecturers.

Sometimes I want to blame the lecturers for the students' poor speech, I have heard a teacher tell the class to “…haxx de clent ebat hah she”, in English she is saying "…ask the client about how she…" (And yes, I am well aware that that sentence makes little sense even in English). Where a teacher speaks like this it is little wonder that a student, stands up in his ill-fitting jacket, stretches forth his dangling limbs to collect the microphone, expands his jaw and belches out a nonsensical sentence like this; “…woo wee nah ichoo de rit of mah-dah-mos?” (in English ”…who will now issue the Writ of Mandamus?”).

I intend to make a point of noting the horrendous errors in each class and detailing them here…for the education of the masses yet unborn of couse *ahem*. Seriously, the manner of speech in the classes is most distracting. I spend my classes giggling into my books, simultaneously praying that the teacher does not look my way and “Has”, “Haxxe” or perhaps even “Azz” me a question.

I better focus now!

Because I Love It

Never before have I been so in love with Rihanna! Couldn't stand the nasal humming and the goth inspired darkness (that appeared rather contrived) in many Riri videos. ALTHOUGH, I have always loved her post Music Of The Sun style. All that aside, these days Rihanna can do no wrong, far as I'm concerned. I love the girly/vintage/pink/floral video for Only Girl In The World. I love the song as well!



Add her very cute video with Drake (who is thankfully looking far more tanned than usual, the gods be praised!) I'm really happy with Rihanna's current offerings!

My Purpose Driven Life. I Think.

Life is a bit everywhere for me right now, I mean I just spent my evening battling for space on my reading table with one middle-aged grasshopper, 2 agile beetles and another creature of doubtful origin. (Be aware that none of these are code names or euphemisms, I’m talking of real life creepy crawlies *insert disgusted shudder here*). My school is in the middle of the rain forest…well not really… but it seems like that, what with its plethora of vile creatures whose whereabouts the Discovery Channel would dearly love to know. On my way to get dinner I was chased by two mature frogs and back at my residence, I had to cleverly by-pass a temperamental rat to get to my room. A better ‘WhichKindlife?!?’ scenario, I am yet to find. Every day in this school is an extended F.M.L moment, particularly for this woman who hates all things that breathe but aren’t human…I mean, I hate some humans too but that’s really neither here nor there at the moment

I digress.

I saw this statement recently and it had a domino effect on my thoughts; “ God grant me Serenity to accept the things I can not change. Courage to accept the things I can and Wisdom to know the difference”. Its part of a longer prayer by Reinold Niebuhr if Wikipedia is to be believed;

"God, grant us the...
Serenity to accept things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference
Patience for the things that take time
Appreciation for all that we have, and
Tolerance for those with different struggles
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways, the
Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other and the
Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless."

Recently my life has started getting more purpose, a clearer focus and dare I say it, substantial progress (big shout out to God for Hisawesomeamazingmarvellouswondefulness to me and mine). I’m excited about the changes and looking forward to the future but the truth is clarity and acceleration bring big responsibilities. All of a sudden, the need for self-evaluation arises because in order to focus on your focus, you need really clear vision. This automatically means you have to weed your life, prune your life’s leaves, take out those tiny buds of disorder and the stronger, longer-existing, soul entangling roots… cut off the distractions. This is never easy but;

-I’m learning that I need to harness my resources, streamline my abilities and center on myself, my aspirations, my hopes, to fully ‘focus on my focus’. Having scattered thoughts, a million and one plans and so on is a recipe for disaster at this stage, I’m realising.

-I’m learning that Good Distractions exist! Some distractions are useful and in fact, beneficial BUT partaking in them at the wrong time can be detrimental to my vision.

-I’m learning that if I don’t do X or Y, I will not die despite how I feel at the moment of deprivation. Disciplining the self is the hardest thing but ‘Mens Agitat Molem’…’The Mind Moves Matter’. Mind over matter. I’ve always said humans are mutants…with superhero-style strength available usually at necessary moments.

-I’m learning to understand my purpose for being. It is not at 18 that a meeting is called in heaven with King Jesus, chubby Cherubim and seranading Seraphim in attendance, with the rest of the heavenly hosts (including the crying doves I suspect heaven is full of), conglomerating to decide on your purpose in life. You are actually born with a purpose and already equipped at birth with the relevant tools to respond to your purpose. So you see why it will be a shame if you go through life without discovering and living in your purpose? You will always feel unfulfilled. I really believe your purpose is living that life that satisfies you, personally. I don’t believe everyone is destined to be wealthy (I strongly believe I am though *ahem*) but I really believe everyone is destined to be happy. If you don’t find your calling, you will always have that nagging feeling of unfulfilment and more likely than not be unhappy no matter how wealthy you are. IMO.

-Finally, I am happy with myself. And that matters more than almost anything to me.

Our forefathers say...

"A rolling stone ……… na person push am."

-Warri proverb from Warri No Dey Carry Last

I heard...

Grace to Leo: "I love you"
Leo to Grace: "I don't blame you"

LOL. I Love Will & Grace