On one of my food breaks, I went to my room to eat and turned the TV on to BET....dont judge me, after sitting in a car with my Anglo-Saxon friends and listening to a serious discussion about Moby (yes, the bald singer), which did not ONCE involve any of the following words; “WHO?!?".."WHY??"..."HUH, MOBY??!?! SERIOUSLY HOW?!?!"...but rather included detailed descriptions of Moby concerts and songs (yes, Moby fans are real live humans just like you and I) and a lavish amount of praise heaped on the clean-shaven head of said songbird, my TV has been on BET watch since that day, as I struggle to reclaim my Negrocity. LOL!!!
So anyways, it was at such a time that I became acquainted with a video tentatively titled ‘Booty Dew’. You see, I suspect that this is one thing impeding the (African-) American dream ; specifically this brand of foolishness. Yes, I am taking it there and indeed blaming Hip Hop…not as the sole cause of some of the foolishness I've witnessed in America’s black community, which I am quite pleased to say I’m not a part of seeing as I am African.....(and I'm an active member of the potentially more foolery-exhibiting Negrodom known as the African community...a fact that is really neither here nor there)....but as a substantial contributor to the irresponsibility I witness daily.We press on.
My problem with Hip Hop is manifest. Not least because it manages to continuously spew forth homo-sapiens whose faces assure me that the God I serve certainly has a sense of humour. Men who sometimes look like they have fully evolved, but whose lyrics evidence otherwise. I don’t know how far across the Atlantic some of these ‘Rap’ songs spread especially the kawwwntrayyy…...ahem, country style rap but I hope and at the same time fear that many people may have borne witness to one of such videos. This video is entitled ‘Halle Berry....She Fine’ (or Halllayyy Bayyyrayyy She Fooooiiinnnee, according to the grown folk chanting along to this track in the video).
The fact that there are several ladies of the ‘thicker than a snicker’ variety in this video (sistahs who I steadfastly remain jealous of by the way *eyes her tiny bum sadly*), or that there is a ghetto fabulous version of Yung Halle in this video or that yet another cringe-inducing, breakfast-indigesting, frankly-annoying ‘dance’ has arrived doesn’t fascinate me as much as the *huge sigh as she types the next words* ‘singer and songwriter’ Hurricane Chris. The entire time I watched this video, I was struck by one thing and one thing alone……WHY, does this young man’s face start from the place normally reserved for lips in other peoples faces? I mean, this man's entire face is a forehead. Why? And I kept asking myself why over and over again. And because I am who I am, I somehow managed to find reasonable justifications to solve the mystery of his hidden hairline(Yes, you may call me Miss Drew). I reasoned, his hairline lies closer to the back of his neck than his eyebrows probably because of the tight braids...or a style in the durrty souf might be to shave off most of the front hair, revealing a gleaming brow?...Frankly I was worried.
I was in the middle of such volatile thoughts thus was unable to react fast enough to the announcement of the number 7 video on BET's 106 & Park countdown; “Booty Dew’. And that’s how dear friends I was found in front of a TV watching a video & listening to a song I define as ‘Niggatry in its rawest and most undiluted form.’
Now my problem wasn’t the fact that there were sprinkled amongst the dancing negroes in this video, several white frat boys singing along and dancing to this video, I was far more surprised by the reaction of the studio audience when the camera returned to the 106 & Park studio. All the 14-year-olds-pretending-to-be-18 were singing along loudly with their too bright sneakers and ponytails stacked high at the wrong side of their craniums while the hosts Souljaboy’d along to the song like it was all normal. Attendre, WAIT....a song is called BOOTY.DEW and not even one person has a WTH face?!? C’mon, give me a disgusted face…..hell, a slightly confused face at least?!! Nope, everyone was just basking in the ignorance as the ‘singer’ crooned about the joys of booty dew.
My relationship with Hip Hop is strange. While I don’t think it is the living spring from which all hoodrat behaviour flows, I think it has a dangerous and lasting effect on the community. I mean these little kids, had just watched someone tell them about booty dew,whatever the hell that means, and were gearing to listen to the #6 song ‘Birthday Sex’……seriously, then we wonder where all the women on the Maury show come from?!?!
The Hip Hop proponents' argument for Hip Hop is that it should be recognised and preserved because it is a respectable art form that allows rappers tell their story, its a documentation of the black struggle, the voice of the people, etc. Maybe.
Before I moved to America I always thought a lot of Hip Hop stories in songs were exaggerations but my foray into Oakland has proven otherwise; ‘babymommadrama’ is the norm, as are dead beat dads and cracked out mums, pimp style negroes, clear heeled stripper shoes in the daytime, durags & timbs, perpetual smell of weed on almost EVERYONE, cornrowed negroes at the corners looking to ‘holla right quick’, conversate & copulate with any free-breathing or asthmatic female, little 14 year old girls jumping rope with their babies on one hand.….ok I havent seen that one yet but the number of babies with babies is a little disquietning. These rappers are actually singing about real life situations. So yes, it is the voice of their struggle.
HOWEVER, where do we put the Hallay Barrays?!? Or T-Pain and his ridiculous questions("Have you ever been in the VIP room of your favourite strip club?"...Er, no sir! How many people who listen to your music can afford the scenarios you describe and can answer affirmatively to that question pray tell? Gremlin please! Tell me something I can relate to!!), is he still a part of the struggle? Or pure entertainment? How entertaining is it that there are whole parts of the world where black people are still strange to see or that there still exists so many narrow minds in the black-president led America for whom blacks will never be regarded as equal. How entertaining is it to confirm such unhealthy stereotypes?
True, we are not responsible for the ignorant minded idiots who really don’t understand that all humans were created equal,but at the same time I really have to wonder what goes through the mind of a person in say Montenegro, who hasn’t seen many negroes in real life but has seen enough of them on MTV behaving in a way we have come to expect of niggers…NOT black people...(Youtube Chris Rock on Niggers), when he sees a *gasp* Real Live Negro??
I know, I know, this is taking things too far but I cant help but wonder…..especially after reading that Jay-Z said Hip Hop has done more than any ambassador or politician to unite the races. *shrugs* Maybe. But it’s the kind of unity deserving of a side eye me thinks. I’m not sure if Shaniqua is ready for any Molly to be living vicariously through her, that’s what Hip Hop does. Or Deshawn to have John Smith throwing the ‘N’ bomb around then innocently (and legitimately) inquiring why he cant use it if Tyrone & ‘em can? Thats what Hip Hop does. Hell, Hip Hop is the reason why I write irrevently on this blog, laughing at words and a lifestyle that is far removed from mine but is very real to someone and is all they know. It’s a shame really, but that’s Hip Hop.
Truth is, Hip Hop tells the world a story but too many times its telling an incomplete one. Someone once told me that the camera lens has only one eye, so it can't see properly. So there are no panoramic tales on our TV's;just the same story with the same script and characters that lead the listeners and viewers to think that there is only one type of African American man or that the black woman comes in one shape and brain size. They dont tell us that for every Delishis, Angel Lola Luv and Buffy the Body there is a Michelle Obama or a Valerie Jarrett or a young girl in college, studying and staying away from general hoodrat activity and sorority sister style hoe-tivity....which incidentally most often involve the Mollys & the Beckys(yes, mudfights in the backyards of the frat houses at Berkeley NEVER involve sistahs....and I know this for sure because Black Woman's Hair + Water= Someone Looking For A Fight, BUT Black Woman's Hair + DIRTY water + Sand or MUD???= Instant Death For The Bastard Son Of A Diseased Goat Who Orchestrated The 'Fun'....see I'm getting mad just thinking about it.)
Speaking about the state of Hip Hop, does Drake look like a black vampire to anyone else? So NO ONE in the world besides me thinks this gentleman looks like he rubs white powder on his face daily????? Look deep within yourself and answer truthfully ....
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