Boring Post Alert

I am happy. I proudly broadcast foolery today from behind a gleaming white, beast of a machine christened MacMilliennne a.k.a my new MacBook....courtesy of my wonderful parents who will defy the recession and do all they can to make sure I pass my exams....(and secure the highest possible bride price. Yes, children are an investment from which SUBSTANTIAL returns are expected. Love you mummy & daddy, really!!!). In the last few days I have been computerless and it sucked...until my friend (& hero fondly know as Techno Boy around these here parts) lent me his aged computer....then it super-sucked. This computer if I’m not mistaken, and I’m not, has been recognised by scientists and jobless folk alike as the first computer created in the history of the world. Archaelogists and historians argue that the Almighty used it to create the original draft of the Ten Commandments. I’m just saying.*Beams brightly at the God that gave her the sense of humour to tease him with* So I am fully appreciative of a wondrous machine that works quickly...even though I managed to misplace my ‘settings’ icon, forget my password and incompletely transfer my files in the first 10 minutes, I am determined to master this MacHiavellian machine....(Indeed, expect many more disgustingly dry Mac inspired jokes from my arsenal:).
 
In the last few days I have learnt some very important lessons. Technology is not our friend, help comes from the strangest places, my aunty might just be a dictator and a song called 'Booty Dew' is polluting these mean virtual reality streets and encouraging general hood rat hoe-tivity.
 
Its almost 2weeks to the exam and negroes and gentlefolks alike are beginning to panic. Im trying desperately to hold on to the last bit of my sanity because you know NO ONE does panic like a Nigerian woman...I have already sweated my formerly neatly pressed perm into a kinky afro of Don Imus proportions but who's panicking???Certainly not me.*side-eyes self*...OH LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWDDDDD I AM FRIGHTENED....in fact, as my sister/resident angel R.I.P, used to say when she was a baby....I.AM.AAA-SCAAARRREED!
 
I realised I may just have to chilaxate with the 'fearing' when my good friend and study buddy Char-Char fell ill 2 Saturdays ago. In recent times, we both realized that the sixteen hours a day we were putting into studying wasn’t going to cut it. So regardless of the fact that we have both been isolated in a tiny Rapunzel-style dungeon, masquerading as a study, with neither horse nor Indian hair to throw out the window for our white-horsed Ashanti warrior-princes to rescue us, and that our diet has been reduced to McDonald fare, AND that we sat in the same position for several hours per day, standing only for bathroom breaks....we felt guilty because apparently we “weren’t working hard enough”....we actually posted inspirational words on the wall including “We must hurt ourselves...pain is gain”. Hindsight is a bastard.

So after much thought we decided to make like Busta Bus and ‘Ante Up’…I rang my aunty in Illinois; a wonderful, disciplined lady, for help and she happily promised to wake us up at 5.30am daily so we could steal more hours from The Day herself.
 
On the first morning, before the first cock had arisen and dared to frustrate farmers and fishermen alike with a hungry crow, my aunty diligently rang from Illinois, kilometers away in distance and 2 hours away in time. In her bright, cheery 7.30am voice she encouraged me to wake up and begin to study. Opening an eye and realising that ‘sun never wash body commot for house’, I sleepily suggested she wake me up in an hour or something….and my cheery aunty morphed into a Ninja Turtle via telephone and admonished “MY FRIEND WAKE UP THERE?!?!?! STAND UP RIGHT NOW, WASH THAT FACE, TAKE A SHOWER, DRINK SOME JUICE(me:huh??!?!)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'M NOT WAKING YOU UP AT ANY 6.30, WAKE UUUUP!!!”…I actually jumped out of bed like I was at Man O' War camp, straight into the tub. With all my clothes still on. Sleep will do that to you, mate.

My aunty has done the same thing since that day, every morning! Turns out this same Ninja-Aunty is the same one who encouraged me 2 mornings ago when she woke me up and I lay on my bed struggling with tears(I said I was A-SCCCURED!!!) and reminded me of the most important thing....its only 2weeks of suffering left!!!!! *whooop whooooooop*...iI just want this to be over, I feel like I have been studying for.ever.
 
Anyways so after such a 5.30am to 12am diet daily, our bodies began to revolt. Saturday, 4th of July, we took a break to watch the fireworks at the marina in F’risco from our friends house on the legendary Crooked Street(googl'it). Then the wonderful Parisienne wonder and sturdy study buddy Char-Char fell violently ill all night, vomiting, seeing triples, hallucinating and all that good stuff. Fear, stress and tiredness…. the Bar is upon us.*shivers* So I realised I have to slow down before I go the same way. I took most of Sunday off to recharge my tired batteries and just as I was feeling refreshed and unstressed, my laptop decided to die on me…sending my pressure sky rocketing again! This kind of life!

But there was a little sun in the horizon, there’s a lovely lady who lives on our floor that has taken it upon herself to mummy us. She is a lawyer visiting from Ohio and is away from her kids at the moment so we are more than happy to fill their littleyellowwellies. Its nice to come into your study room in the morning and see flowers and notes and chocolates from “Your supporter at #336”…….
 
Char-Char, the studying (& often daydreaming...she's allowed, she's getting married in November!!!) Parisienne:0)