And So It Goes...

The night before the epic 2010 ends, I'm sitting in my kitchen at 5.38pm, unwashed, wrapped in the warmest bathrobe known to man with my homegirl Corinne Bailey Rae serenading me quietly from MacMilliene's speakers and I'm ready to bid 2010 a merry farewell. It has been a great year in many ways, sooo many blessings in the last 12 months, soooo many significant changes and most importantly, soooo much growth has gone on in my life.

I believe I can confidently say 2010 finds me at her careful conclusion, a better woman that I was at her cantankerous commencement. I think this is how all our years ought to be measured regardless of the challenges faced duringn the year; the ability to exit triumphant come December, is the determinant of A Good Year.

Ladies and Zestlemen, I had a great year!

With all the learning and growth as a woman, a person, 2010 brought, I can't wait for 2011 The 'Doing' Year. Less Talk, More Work.

Oh, and in 2011 I am going to be happy every single...I'll start everyday with a smile...no, a grin...hell, I'm already practicing now! Lol.

Courage In Motion

Dr. Hawa Abdi, “equal parts Mother Teresa and Rambo.”

Read a little about her here;

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/16/opinion/16kristof.html

I heard...

"I still haven't developed antibodies for your smile. "-Jeffrey McDaniel

Because I Love It

The Archipelago Of Kisses

We live in a modern society. Husbands and wives don't
grow on trees, like in the old days. So where
does one find love? When you're sixteen it's easy,
like being unleashed with a credit card
in a department store of kisses. There's the first kiss.
The sloppy kiss. The peck.
The sympathy kiss. The backseat smooch. The we
shouldn't be doing this kiss. The but your lips
taste so good kiss. The bury me in an avalanche of tingles kiss.
The I wish you'd quit smoking kiss.
The I accept your apology, but you make me really mad
sometimes kiss. The I know
your tongue like the back of my hand kiss. As you get
older, kisses become scarce. You'll be driving
home and see a damaged kiss on the side of the road,
with its purple thumb out. If you
were younger, you'd pull over, slide open the mouth's
red door just to see how it fits. Oh where
does one find love? If you rub two glances, you get a smile.
Rub two smiles, you get a warm feeling.
Rub two warm feelings and presto-you have a kiss.
Now what? Don't invite the kiss over
and answer the door in your underwear. It'll get suspicious
and stare at your toes. Don't water the kiss with whiskey.
It'll turn bright pink and explode into a thousand luscious splinters,
but in the morning it'll be ashamed and sneak out of
your body without saying good-bye,
and you'll remember that kiss forever by all the little cuts it left
on the inside of your mouth. You must
nurture the kiss. Turn out the lights. Notice how it
illuminates the room. Hold it to your chest
and wonder if the sand inside hourglasses comes from a
special beach. Place it on the tongue's pillow,
then look up the first recorded kiss in an encyclopedia: beneath
a Babylonian olive tree in 1200 B.C.
But one kiss levitates above all the others. The
intersection of function and desire. The I do kiss.
The I'll love you through a brick wall kiss.
Even when I'm dead, I'll swim through the Earth,
like a mermaid of the soil, just to be next to your bones.

Jeffrey McDaniel

Oh Harry!

I have been trying to write this note for the last two weeks. Every time I seat to write, Laziness slithers quietly on the floor, stealthily steals up my legs, sweeps past my torso and its lethargy settles on my fingers, stilling them and slowly guiding me towards that wondrous talent of mine, Sleep. *sigh* But this time, like a gangster warrior, the courageous Amazonian I am, I fight against those two nefarious brothers Laziness and Procrastination…and emerge triumphant. So, Friday night finds me propped up in bed, eyes squinting at MacMilliene my trusty sidekick, sweet faithful MacBook, as I type merrily away about a subject that trul fascinates me….Harry Potter.

Yes, yes the jokes flow fast and free as you snicker behind your calloused palms whispering “…typical Nigerian, of course she is fascinated by witches and wizards!” Despite the fetishness of the citizenry of my nation state, I am replete in the confidence that I have a different covenant, one with the creator Himself, ruler of all things temporal and extemporal and so you see, I have no interest in witchcraft and wizadry and other odious doings, imagined or otherwise.

Alors, allons y.

I saw the movie adaptiation of the 7th of J.K Rowling’s Harry Potter novels and I am once again amazed at the depth and insight of this woman. People who do not know better condemn the book savagely; some as merely a child’s tale that has been cleverly packaged in such a manner as to deceive grown folk into falling in love with a child’s fairtytale. Others, more conservative and peppered with the heat of an interpretation of their religion, denounce the book for being a heretical study of dangerous ideas, an insidious method of spreading devilish messages. Still others simply determine it is simply an over-rated work of art.

Opinions as I suspect you are aware, are like orifices in the nether regions of every human body, every person has and is entitled to one. I, have always been a fan of the Harry Potter franchise and the latest movie confirmed the reason. More than anything else, the Potter series is the story of a young person’s coming of age. So readily identifiable, incredibly accessible to anyone who knows what it is to try to find and stay true to yourself in a world that is perpetually trying to pull you to its dictates. At the heart of the tale is a story of that rarest of gifts; Friendship. It is a tale of good, solid Friendships standing the test of time, growing and maturing with its owners, enriching their lives by its very presence. But more than anything else, it is a tale of courage. Of people standing up to systems that inefficient and cruel systems, challenging the status quo, people in a constant search for Truth. In recent days, I have been thinking of courageous humans, people that care for much more than themselves and are able to break out of their barrier of comfort, unwilling to sit and let Destiny master the ship of their lives…men and women who look into an uncertain future and refuse to hand over the rein of their lives to this elusive vixen called Destiny.

From book one to seven, the Harry Potter series chronicle courage at the height of tyranny and unrestrained evil. And reading the author’s speech about her inspiration for the book (http://roomtorite.blogspot.com/2009/07/oga-pota.html) moves the characters from black and white manifestations on a page, makes me think of the real-life people of courage all over the world who persistently stand up for Right and I wonder, what will my legacy be? When I leave this world, how much would I have contributed to my corner of the world?

How did I get here from the story about a frightened looking 11 year old who lived in a cupboard?

J.K Rowling’s skill.

[J.K ROWLING'S SPEECH: http://roomtorite.blogspot.com/2009/07/oga-pota.html]

Because I Love It

When I'm alone with You Lord
My troubles seem to disappear
And the peace that comforts me
Always comes when You are near
And Your love's too much for my heart to contain
Joy too much that my feet won't refrain

So I dance like the rain on the roof
Tell my soul that my spirit's on the loose
Don't know if anyone will understand
Feels like an angel's got a hold of my hand
So I dance
I dance I dance I dance

When I think about the ways
That You have blessed my life
I sing a song of praise and thankful tears fill my eyes
'Cause Your love's too much for my heart to contain
Joy too much that my feet won't refrain

So I dance like the rain on the roof
Tell my soul that my spirit's on the loose
Don't know if anyone will understand
Feels like an angel's got a hold of my hand
So I dance
I dance I dance I dance

-Lenny Leblanc

Our forefathers say...

"Lizard for Warri no fit turn to crocodile for London"

-Warri proverb from Warri No Dey Carry Last

I heard...

"If she's amazing, she won't be easy
If she's easy, she won't be amazing.
If she's worth it, you won't give up.
If you give up...maybe you're not worth it?"

-Paraphrased from www.christianarants.com

My Purpose Driven Life. I Think...Pt II

This is the second half of a (long) post I wrote earlier, on life and courage. I said before that the older i grow, the more responsibility I am faced with and the more I realise that to maintain my focus I need to put my life in order. I need to 'prune' my life into place, I think. Because I really really believe your life should only contain things that matter:)

In the process of pruning, I’ve had to make some difficult decisions but I’m learning that good, solid…and correct… decisions leave you a little sad, but much more at peace with yourself. In the end you’re stuck with yourself for eternity, do you really want to keep justifying your choices to yourself? Better to do the right thing, not the convenient thing, hard as it may be and be at peace. I think. That’s where the serenity quote comes in. You really need wisdom to determine what is worth letting go of in your life, and what deserves to be retained. Because your life should only be full of things that matter; to your happiness, your peace and self-worth.

We need God’s help to accept that there will always be things we can not change even by working, wishing or waiting. We have to accept that, serenely. Not with excessive bouts of regret, self-pity or Jazmine Sullivan style Busting Windows of Cars but with calmness flowing from an inner confidence that all things will work together for your good no matter what today looks like. You need that attitude to weather the storms of life because Life is not for small kids! LOL! It can throw you some curve balls that understandably warrant a madness-demonstrating response…but you can't always give in to emotional impulses or you will drain yourself. Save your energy, cultivate serenity.

And for the things that are in our power to change, we need the courage from Him to take that first step on a journey of change. That’s often all you need. And God knows that. Any huge task starts with the very first attempt. Just as a journey of a thousand miles, begins with one step….random story, I had a Japanese friend called Ayumi which apparently means that first step in a long journey. Cool no? No? Ok, moving on. See Joshua 1:8, where Joshua is about to take the mantle of leadership of millions of people, from the much loved and well respected Moses. Imagin the anxiety! But God has absolute confidence in Joshua’s ability to rule, and rule well. And as if He knows that Joshua is nervous, He tells him: “ONLY be strong and very courageous”. As if that is all he needs to succeed. I really love that scripture. God understands fear, in particular, MY fears. In church on Sunday the pastor said “…courage is not the absence of fear, it is the mastery of fear. In the absence of fear, there is no need for courage.” We need to face our fears head-on and challenge them to do the worst they can. That’s the only way you bring yourself to the next level in your life. Otherwise you’re perpetually bound by your own fears, you wonder why you’re not growing but you can’t see that you are the one limiting yourself.

I find that I women sacrifice themselves easily, we prioritise other people to our detriment. Giving up on that and redirecting focus on yourself can be difficult. But when you prioritise your own aspirations, let go of things that hold you back, are courageous enough to go for gold & goals, and you trust your decisions then your peace of mind is guaranteed, your confidence in your abilities and love for yourself grows. Suddenly, you feel like you own the World, his fastidious father and his bootilicious babymama!

So in this journey to Purpose, here is what I wish myself and all women in the similar boat of finding themselves and running with a vision; “I wish you strong trust in yourself and faith in the future. The belief that you will make the right choices to bring you closer to the happiness you deserve. I wish you friends to surround you in the circle of their caring and love and people to help you laugh at life”. (Gotten from a birthday card I bought myself on my 22nd birthday and randomly found in my closet yesterday. Yes I bought myself a birthday card...lol…please focus!).

And some encouragement for those of us on the precipice of a difficult pruning decision…and for those currently working out a dream too, I’ll tell you what they told me in church on Sunday:

(Conversation between God and *insert your name here*)

God: “I’ll be with you. I wont give up on you ________; I wont leave you. Be strong and of good courage…Give it everything you have, heart and soul…don’t get off track, either left or right, so as to ensure you get where you’re going. And don’t for a minute let this Book of the Revelation (iLovit!) be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night (consistency!), make sure you practice everything written in it. Then you’ll get where you’re going; then you’ll succeed. Only be strong and very courageous, don’t be timid, don’t get discouraged __________. God, your God is with you every step you take.” –Joshua 1:5-8 Msg & KJV.

God knows that doing the right thing is never easy. You’re not alone.

I Hear You But I Can NOT Listen...!

My capability for unearthing foolery and mayhem even in the midst of the most civil and serious situations is surprising to some…as is my consistent search for fodder to feed my active imagination. The Nigerian Law School, which I am currently enrolled in, is the perfect place for such fodder as it is a veritable treasure chest of laughs. When I started a few months ago, there were only ‘foreign' students at the school. By foreign, I refer to students who have obtained a degree in any jurisdiction besides Nigeria. I suspect that the second, equally important, requirement to undertake the course as a ‘foreign’ student is the ability to speak in a contrived accent. The more unfortunate sounding the better, I believe. Or how else do we explain the questionable accents prevalent in this place?! And you know it can not be easy to maintain! We’re talking saliva collating, tongue stressing, cheek chewing accents that often do more to expose the little village in Eastern Nigeria from whence the speaker doth commeth rather than a world-class education at an accredited UK university. Amazingly, we never have any Ghanaian, Romanian or Malaysian accents in the proliferation of English and American ones, despite the fact that the registration book clearly shows substantial figures from universities kilometres away from the Great Britain and American shores. Epic Fail surely?

But we digress.

Now, the second half of the course has begun, and a host of even more questionable characters have invaded the campus. The ‘real’ Nigerian students are upon us. By real, I mean students who studied within the porous ports of the Nigerian territory. As I leave the first class of the new term, I am compelled to quietly mutter to myself “…the idiots outnumber us”. By this I do not suggest the ‘real’ Nigerians are in any way less intelligent, if anything the opposite appears to be the case. However there exists among their number too many ‘students’ who appear unable to conjugate tenses, use conjunctions or pronounce basic English words, to ignore. Each day in class is an escalated fun-fest. Certainly not what you would typically label a class of ambitious potential lawyers and intelligent lecturers.

Sometimes I want to blame the lecturers for the students' poor speech, I have heard a teacher tell the class to “…haxx de clent ebat hah she”, in English she is saying "…ask the client about how she…" (And yes, I am well aware that that sentence makes little sense even in English). Where a teacher speaks like this it is little wonder that a student, stands up in his ill-fitting jacket, stretches forth his dangling limbs to collect the microphone, expands his jaw and belches out a nonsensical sentence like this; “…woo wee nah ichoo de rit of mah-dah-mos?” (in English ”…who will now issue the Writ of Mandamus?”).

I intend to make a point of noting the horrendous errors in each class and detailing them here…for the education of the masses yet unborn of couse *ahem*. Seriously, the manner of speech in the classes is most distracting. I spend my classes giggling into my books, simultaneously praying that the teacher does not look my way and “Has”, “Haxxe” or perhaps even “Azz” me a question.

I better focus now!

Because I Love It

Never before have I been so in love with Rihanna! Couldn't stand the nasal humming and the goth inspired darkness (that appeared rather contrived) in many Riri videos. ALTHOUGH, I have always loved her post Music Of The Sun style. All that aside, these days Rihanna can do no wrong, far as I'm concerned. I love the girly/vintage/pink/floral video for Only Girl In The World. I love the song as well!



Add her very cute video with Drake (who is thankfully looking far more tanned than usual, the gods be praised!) I'm really happy with Rihanna's current offerings!

My Purpose Driven Life. I Think.

Life is a bit everywhere for me right now, I mean I just spent my evening battling for space on my reading table with one middle-aged grasshopper, 2 agile beetles and another creature of doubtful origin. (Be aware that none of these are code names or euphemisms, I’m talking of real life creepy crawlies *insert disgusted shudder here*). My school is in the middle of the rain forest…well not really… but it seems like that, what with its plethora of vile creatures whose whereabouts the Discovery Channel would dearly love to know. On my way to get dinner I was chased by two mature frogs and back at my residence, I had to cleverly by-pass a temperamental rat to get to my room. A better ‘WhichKindlife?!?’ scenario, I am yet to find. Every day in this school is an extended F.M.L moment, particularly for this woman who hates all things that breathe but aren’t human…I mean, I hate some humans too but that’s really neither here nor there at the moment

I digress.

I saw this statement recently and it had a domino effect on my thoughts; “ God grant me Serenity to accept the things I can not change. Courage to accept the things I can and Wisdom to know the difference”. Its part of a longer prayer by Reinold Niebuhr if Wikipedia is to be believed;

"God, grant us the...
Serenity to accept things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference
Patience for the things that take time
Appreciation for all that we have, and
Tolerance for those with different struggles
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways, the
Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other and the
Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless."

Recently my life has started getting more purpose, a clearer focus and dare I say it, substantial progress (big shout out to God for Hisawesomeamazingmarvellouswondefulness to me and mine). I’m excited about the changes and looking forward to the future but the truth is clarity and acceleration bring big responsibilities. All of a sudden, the need for self-evaluation arises because in order to focus on your focus, you need really clear vision. This automatically means you have to weed your life, prune your life’s leaves, take out those tiny buds of disorder and the stronger, longer-existing, soul entangling roots… cut off the distractions. This is never easy but;

-I’m learning that I need to harness my resources, streamline my abilities and center on myself, my aspirations, my hopes, to fully ‘focus on my focus’. Having scattered thoughts, a million and one plans and so on is a recipe for disaster at this stage, I’m realising.

-I’m learning that Good Distractions exist! Some distractions are useful and in fact, beneficial BUT partaking in them at the wrong time can be detrimental to my vision.

-I’m learning that if I don’t do X or Y, I will not die despite how I feel at the moment of deprivation. Disciplining the self is the hardest thing but ‘Mens Agitat Molem’…’The Mind Moves Matter’. Mind over matter. I’ve always said humans are mutants…with superhero-style strength available usually at necessary moments.

-I’m learning to understand my purpose for being. It is not at 18 that a meeting is called in heaven with King Jesus, chubby Cherubim and seranading Seraphim in attendance, with the rest of the heavenly hosts (including the crying doves I suspect heaven is full of), conglomerating to decide on your purpose in life. You are actually born with a purpose and already equipped at birth with the relevant tools to respond to your purpose. So you see why it will be a shame if you go through life without discovering and living in your purpose? You will always feel unfulfilled. I really believe your purpose is living that life that satisfies you, personally. I don’t believe everyone is destined to be wealthy (I strongly believe I am though *ahem*) but I really believe everyone is destined to be happy. If you don’t find your calling, you will always have that nagging feeling of unfulfilment and more likely than not be unhappy no matter how wealthy you are. IMO.

-Finally, I am happy with myself. And that matters more than almost anything to me.

Our forefathers say...

"A rolling stone ……… na person push am."

-Warri proverb from Warri No Dey Carry Last

I heard...

Grace to Leo: "I love you"
Leo to Grace: "I don't blame you"

LOL. I Love Will & Grace

I heard...

Article in The Punch newspaper 2 weeks ago:

“NIGERIA LOSING 419 FRANCHISE

It appears other nations are snatching our 419 franchise right before our eyes. You might say this is a good thing but a loss is a loss….”

Our forefathers say...

"Wetin you no go chop no use teeth divide am".

-Warri proverbs from Warri No Dey Carry Last

Tips On Driving In Lagos

In line with my new-found Lagos Love, I found this article I saved from a random blog ages ago. I thought it was really funny but I don't remember now who wrote it...or the blog it came from. I'm working on finding out though. *wears Sherlock shades*

TIPS ON DRIVING IN LAGOS:

1. When in doubt, accelerate!
2. Be prepared to ram anything stopping you wearing a uniform in Lagos (Police, Traffic Warden,FRSC, ‘Kai Brigade’, Fire Brigade, VIO, LASTMA, LASWA, even LAWMA sef)
3. If you get caught by any chance, DO NOT allow them to enter your car, if they happen to get in DO NOT drive from that spot (veer off traffic & settle somewhere quiet). And if they don’t agree, form calling your uncle who is in the army (believe me it always works), never follow them to ANY sort of office except you wanna pay x10
4. Never give police or VIO your original particulars (whether expired or up to date).
5. Danfo drivers believe they are immortal. NEVER yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise.
6. Okada riders have a pact with suicide, avoid them like a plague.
7. Avoid BRT buses in all ramifications, they have NO brakes.
8. Taxi cabs (oko asewo) should always have the right of way, all of them have been driving in Lagos for 25yrs.
9. Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.
10. The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it. Survival of the fittest you may say!
11. Learn to swerve abruptly. In Lagos, potholes (and sometimes car-holes) are put in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and shock absorbers,( I saw one man fishing in one of the potholes last week).
12. There is no such thing as “one-way” in Lagos. Expect traffic from any direction at all times. The Okada riders are the experts in this area.
13. Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive bodywork, except you want to spend your entire Saturday @ the panel beater’s place.
14. Morning rush-hours are equivalent to Lagos grand prix (who gets to the junction first).
15. There is no such thing as a short-cut during rush-hour traffic in Lagos. Everybody might be inclined to take that ’short-cut’.
16. When asking for directions, always ask at least 3 people. Lagosians ALWAYS claim to know every inch of the city – even areas they’ve never been to.
17. Use extreme caution when pulling into service lanes. Service lanes are not for breaking down the traffic, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.
18. Never use directional signals, since they only confound and distract other Lagos drivers, who are not used to them.
19. Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals. Lagos drivers, unused to such courtesies, will think you are making obscene gestures to them. This could be very bad for you in Lagos.
20. Hazard lights (popularly called “double pointer”) is not, (as commonly supposed) used to indicate a hazard. It is a warning to you that he is a bona fide Lagos driver, he’s headed ’straight’ and as such, will not stop under any circumstance. Take him extremely seriously especially if he backs it up with a continuous blast from his “horn”.
21. At any given time, do not stand on the zebra crossing expecting traffic to yield to you, or else you will have to explain to the on coming traffic whether you look like a zebra.
22. Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.
23. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.
24. In Las Gidi every spot is a potential bus stop. FRSC and LASTMA know that too. It is in their constitution.
25. Above all, keep moving. Even with a flat tire!!!

JARA*:
HORNING IN LAGOS
- ‘Horn’ when someone executes a dangerous manoeuvre.
- ‘Horn’ when you’re about to move off.
- ‘Horn’ when you’re about to overtake.
- ‘Horn’ when someone is about to overtake you.
- ‘Horn’ when turning into a road.
- ‘Horn’ when emerging from a road.
- ‘Horn’ back when someone horns at you. It’s considered good etiquette.
- ‘Horn’ when you hear a chorus of horns. Don’t worry if you don’t know what all the ‘horning’ is about.
- ‘Horn’ when you’re happy.
- ‘Horn’ to the beat when you’re playing music in your car.
Good luck, as you expeditiously navigate through Lagos and hustle and bustle!

*Extra

With Love From Lagos

A
After living in 3 countries and visiting several others in over two decades, I solemnly declare that Nigerians are potentially the most insane primates on God’s grey earth. (***Mad cows included in research).

I was not a fan of the foolery that was Big Brother Allstars (Africa) 2010, but I found myself somehow distracted into watching the South Africa located finale on telly. Seeing Uti, the Nigerian winner, dancing ‘Alanta’ as he hip-hopped his way out of the house only to find the (Nigerian) presenter joining him mid-stage in the notorious finger-wiggling, leg jiggling dance caused me pause. How does the territorial jurisdiction that is Nigeria manage to exist without imploding on itself with so many larger than life personalities crammed into the admittedly small space that is my nation state?!? Amazing. Scientists better leave stem cells and get to researching questions that truly matter! I wouldn’t blame a foreigner for wondering; “What is the point of being African if you’re not Nigerian?”

The soliloquy above was a discussion I had with the villagers and elves at the town hall of the Village D’Incroyables, (population:1), located in the deeper recesses of my medulla in the wee hours of the morning. The vitality of the Nigerian forms a substantial portion of my daily intellectual ponderings at the dawn of each new morning (yes, really). I think Nigeria, with its teeming humanity, concentrated chaos and intensified mayhem is VH1’s dream reality show. Lagos in particular with its unique mesh of eccentrics, posers, loonies, deluded, cool cats, gold-digging hustlers and comics amongst others, would be the perfect setting. The show would be a brutally honest expose on life. (Emphasis on ‘brutally’). I can already see it now! It would be titled ‘TIN’; a salute to that oft given answer to every frustrated question on why things don’t work in Nigeria ; “…This. Is. Nigeria!!” (T.I.N). And a subtle dig at many Nigerians' mis-pronounciations of words like the the ‘TH’ in THing. Birds 2. Stone 1.


The show would make for great reality TV simply because there would be no need for the fake acting and simulated scripts propagated by pretend ‘reality’ shows. Yes Kardashians, shots fired at you. The drama will not need to be created, the life of the average Nigerian has some modicum of drama attached to it automatically. It’s the default position in a country where basic amenities are considered luxury provisions. It's no wonder that Nigerians as individuals are one-man riot bands! In some ways Nigeria is Life….Exaggerated. Nigerians are a breathing exaggeration of every action; we laugh loud and hard, we wave our hands and whip our weaves in self expression, we cry long and heavy. It seems like a generalization but watch a group of young Nigerians interact and you’ll see what I mean.

Maybe this is why Nigeria has the awesome power to regularize so many things; things that would formerly seem totally out of place to me, somehow aren't anymore after a few months of living here. I know that lawns are made to be walked (sorry, MARCHED) on and queuing is only for the incredibly foolish, shouting over and bullying your way o the front is always advised. I also know now, of course, that caucasian foreigners are ALWAYS expatriates, NEVER immigrants...jobless or otherwise. Somehow you get used to never actually seeing women who have full front hair, thanks to the abrasive yet exotic-looking effect of tight yet terribly tidy braids. And normal is attending events where you are surrounded by a veritable sea of women with 100% authentic hair.… only every strand a home-grown production from the skull of one Sheeva Patel in Bombay or a Maria santa Monica in Peru. (I will say this trend is worrying for even me; the official face of Women Addicted to Weaves (WAW)). How about the Grief-Free Celebration-Only Zones that funerals in Nigeria are? Add to this mix, tales of daylight armed robbery attacks, head hunters (literally) for voodoo sacrifices, or churches where pastors claim to be able to give women children *pause and medititate on the swindle*. It’s an extraordinary place, this Nigeria is.

What I find fascinating is that in the consistent frenzy of activity and the concentrated mass of humanity, there is a warmth present here that is distinctly African and incomparable to any other place in the world. The disadvantage of many busy cities is the isolation that capitalism, industrialisation and technology bring. Yet somehow Nigerian cities, like Lagos, have somehow managed to remain fast-paced and exciting yet the real citizen of Lagos state (not the fronting newly repatriated 'foreign' Nigerian), is friendly, boisterous and funny. And probably looking for the fastest way to divest you of your best bits. Lol. …story for another day.




I like the spirit in this country. A special brand of welcoming, warm friendliness that manages to straddle that fine line between cool and crazy. Its like visiting that kooky, jolly aunty in the village that always hugs you too tightly and smells of mothballs; she’s a little too loud, often obnoxious but never ever boring.


Nigeria, and Lagos in particular, has worked its magic on me. After almost a month of living like a working-class Island Girl (whooop for finishing my internship in Lagos!), I find Lagos quite enchanting (in a non-cinderella-storyesque way). As I stare from my vantage point at the back of the car in traffic and watch others who, like me, are hurriedly applying a Mac counter full of war paint to camouflage baggy eyes and distract from birdnest hair as we all prepare to face another day in the jungle that is Lagos, Im surprised to feel that in the midst of the madness, I can see myself settling here.

I can almost smell the mothballs.

Because I Love It

The best thing about having a blog, and I've waxed lyrical about this previously, is being able to share 100% authentic Sweet Nothings with no one, yet maybe everyone in the world. Not the sweet nothings deluded lovers whisper under the dying embers of an autumn dusk, the real foolish and silly things of life that still somehow manage to be sweet. *Made sense in my head*

One of these things are Norman Rockwell paintings. They are a little vintage without being dated as the themes remain fresh, but I think the real appeal to me is the throwback to a simpler time or just to baser emotions that unite all humans race, status, continent wide.

This one always makes me smile, maybe because in so many ways, as a veteran (twice honoured), board approved Mischief Maker, I can identify with The Nuttiest Girl In school. *giggles*.

Favourite Things...

This is one of my favourite poems...and I seriously suspect I've put it up on the blog before but I'll put it again because hell, its my party and I'll cry if I want to!...Well, it is in line with the 21st century pentecostal self-helpism I'm preaching and feeling these days TBH!


WHO UNDERSTANDS ME BUT ME


They turn the water off, so I live without water,
they build walls higher, so I live without treetops,
they paint the windows black, so I live without sunshine,
they lock my cage, so I live without going anywhere,
they take each last tear I have, I live without tears,
they take my heart and rip it open, I live without heart,
they take my life and crush it, so I live without a future,
they say I am beastly and fiendish, so I have no friends,
they stop up each hope, so I have no passage out of hell,
they give me pain, so I live with pain,
they give me hate, so I live with my hate,
they have changed me, and I am not the same man,
they give me no shower, so I live with my smell,
they separate me from my brothers, so I live without brothers,
who understands me when I say this is beautiful?
who understands me when I say I have found other freedoms?

I cannot fly or make something appear in my hand,
I cannot make the heavens open or the earth tremble,
I can live with myself, and I am amazed at myself, my love, my beauty,
I am taken by my failures, astounded by my fears,
I am stubborn and childish,
in the midst of this wreckage of life they incurred,
I practice being myself,
and I have found parts of myself never dreamed of by me,
they were goaded out from under rocks in my heart
when the walls were built higher,
when the water was turned off and the windows painted black.
I followed these signs
like an old tracker and followed the tracks deep into myself
followed the blood-spotted path,
deeper into dangerous regions, and found so many parts of myself,
who taught me water is not everything,
and gave me new eyes to see through walls,
and when they spoke, sunlight came out of their mouths,
and I was laughing at me with them,
we laughed like children and made pacts to always be loyal,
who understands me when I say this is beautiful

-Jimmy Santiaga Baca

If You Let Yourself Learn

The older you grow, the more likely to come to pass your fears become. Your silly ones like never disabusing yourself of the need to suck your thumb when you sleep. Or serious like losing someone you love. In essence, life happens. I’ve really hated the darker times in my largely sun-filled life. But I’ve also learnt a lot about myself and life in general in those times. In fact far more than I’ve learnt at any other time in my life…it’s like being on an intense, condensed course in Sadness with electives in Toughening Up and In-depth Self Reflection as side options. Things that took me 20 fairly odd years to learn about myself and others, I learnt in a few weeks of sorrow and mild depression.

One of the things I hate most about Sorrow is her bald, acrylic-taloned, flat chested (i imagine) companion; Fear. That instant, pervading and permanent fear that engulfs you, from the moment one of your hidden fears becomes a reality. Your heart stops, your head spins, the air in your lungs escape your lips in a hurry, your hands shake…your tear ducts squeeze but nothing comes out...as if your watermen aren't keen to release any fluid, like they are too despondent to produce the tears they are supposed to. Your whole body, mind and soul wilts in defeat as you think of 101 things left unsaid or said or couldadonebetters or oughtnottohaves. You’re hurting but you’re too shocked to cry or link the building blocks of alphabets into words to share your pain, to express your rage, your eyes are glazed and your heart actually feels like a paper weight; heavy and hollow. Sigh, I hate going through that painful process. The only thing comparable is that first moment where your soul suspects that sorrow is probable and imminent, the trepidation you live with right before the full extent of your upcoming hurt is unveiled is horrible. To me.

But day by day, after the realization hits, when it has settled and fits you snugly like that LBD that’s your best friend for one season you slowly begin to look behind you; not with horror, confusion or sorrow but with a better perspective, a new understanding of yourself, others, situations. The process is hard but the lessons you learn are invaluable.

I’ll share what I’ve learnt in recent times; I can only control my own actions. I am responsible for no one else’s.

Manipulation, fervent hoping, cold wars, mind games, wild expectations, will get you nowhere fast. Follow Your Bliss. Expect a 100% from yourself all the time. Do your best ONLY because that is what you want from yourself; being the best version of yourself you know how to be. Ultimately, you can only control and are only accountable for your own actions. When people say things like if "I was more like *insert perceived favourable trait*, this wouldn't have happened..."I quietly ask them to take a seat in the corner and face the wall, they seldom agree but that's neither here nor there. Holding yourself responsible for another's actions is the invite to the Guilt & Self-Pity Lounge. Thank Great Jehovah for helping me realise this mid-self evaluation. If you know you've done your best please don't blame yourself if things don't work out the way they ought, you've done your bit now leave it to the Finisher of Our Faith to work things out. God impresses me time and time again with His uncanny ability to steadily work things out in a way that benefits me in the end; the secret is to ask consistently through the pain "...show me the lesson here! Please!" Otherwise all of that anguish is actually your own time wasted if you GAIN nothing at all! *Shakes head vehemently* I MUST learn something if only so I can feel like I defeated the situation. A little. I'm competitive like that.


The entire point of this article, was to get to this final point...What I Like Best About Pain.

The education it brings and the empowerment that follows heartbreak is invaluable. It's like your body develops an immunity, the possibility of your Self being attacked again of course always remains, but you’re more knowledgeable in self-preservation. More than that if you listen to the still, small voice inside, you realize that you have a new-found confidence, not in things or people but solely in yourself, your abilities to survive time and time again. Suddenly you feel invincible, and I think that’s what every human has at their core; a strength and resilience that will always let you survive… if you Let Yourself Learn.

Our forefathers say...

"One man's meat is another man's meat pie"

-Warri proverbs from Warri No Dey Carry Last

I heard...

Nigerian Law School lecturer: "...the cot of appea' and the suprin cot*"
Confused student asking question: "Would you please tell us what the suprin cot is and what it has to do with the cot of appea'? I suspect it has something to do with babies, but I hate to make assumptions."

*Supreme Court & Court of Appeal

Love's Disability

I arrive back into the blogosphere, after my self imposed hiatus, like a triumphant donkey rider invading the wild wild world of cyber space. Descending down crowded cyber streets, bursting into e-Jerusalem…with no welcoming mats and peasants singing praises at my arrival. No worries, the plebeians never recognise royalty. Or deity.

In one phrase, I am back.

In the last few months I have grown up considerably… although to watch my daily exhibition of foolery and mayhem would be to think otherwise. *Insert pensive pose here.* Despite the many other-wise thinkers and nay-sayers, I stand resolute in my declaration that I have indeed grown up.*Puffs out chest and points to sky*. I am not the same.

*Key inspirational music*

One thing I have learnt a little more about in my recent grown & sexy musings is about love. Yes children, not lurrve, not luv, or lv or lov, or V….lol, ok I don’t know who says ‘V’…but I mean L.O.V.E, Love. Not infatuation, intense like, warming concern, I mean LOVE! That great emotion that fuses all of those; Infatuation, Like, Concern and so much more, into one. I'm amazed at myself, a few months ago I honestly believed love was simply a concept created by selfish people to get their way. Seriously, how else do you explain people justifying foolishness in the name of love?! Take for instance the case of a woman who, several years after making vows before God and man and birthing several children that depend on a balanced two parent home for well rounded support, declares “Toby, I am no longer in love with you, I am leaving you for our post man. You must understand that I'm in love and mUst follow my heart”. Two days later I'm watching Toby on the Crime TV arrested for eating his wife’s heart.

Morbid humour, I apologise.

Actually I wonder what the origin of this word is. Wait, I'm off to wiki it.

*Back* Didn’t find it on wiki, thank the geeks for Google!

“The word love goes back to the very roots of the English language. Old English lufu (sounds like the igbo pronounciation!) is related to Old Frisian luve, Old High German luba, Gothic lubo. There is a cognate lof in early forms of the Scandinavian languages. The Indo-European root is also behind Latin lubet meaning it is pleasing and lubido meaning desire. The word is recorded from the earliest English writings in the 8th century.”
-GOOGLE.


With all the wondrous things that Love is, its little wonder that we very quickly lose sight of its many incapabilities. Love’s Disability I call it. As a world, we have conditioned ourselves to believe that love; the all consuming, unassuming, fully-loaded potential-filled feeling has the power to do all things; cancel debts, cover a multitude of sins, leap over tall buildings unaided etc. But I'm not sure I agree. Sure the bible speaks of such awe-inspiring love…but in what context? Biblical love manages to live up to all its professions simply because of its inhuman nature. Love, 1 Corinthians 13 Love, describes the same kind of love that Romans 8:35 confirms. A love that gives constantly in the face of distress, peril and persecutuion and expects nothing in return. A love that is patient even in a “Girl Hol’ My Earrings’ moment. A love that is kind, that rejoices in truth no matter how bitter that truth is. I humbly suggest that this is a standard that humans can ever only aspire to because it is divine in nature. Not human.

It’s the kind of love that can only come from one who plays the dual role of Lover AND Creator. Think about this; it is only a deity, God Himself, that took the time to create a face like Dennis Rodman’s orangutanic visage, that can afford to favour him with such a love as that described in 1 Cor 13, because in making him He knew everything about him…and chose to love him regardless. Well, only God and Dennis’ mama (who incidentally also plays the role of both lover and creator).



As humans we can only give a fraction of this brand of love but because it comes from the Giver of all true and pure love, it is enough. However, the question that plagues me is that we as a people have been conditioned to believe that Love contains some magic powers that can cure the Human in us and injects us with some godlike propensities to perform Herculean exploits.

What magic powers do you think LOVE contains that allows it to erase the humanity in us and make us gods?

In recent times I’ve had to contemplate this billion Naira query often whispered in a tear choked voice; “If you loved me as you claim, you would not have cheated would you?!” The standard answer from hurt women all over the world is a big “NAY!” or to expound “NAY! IF YOU REALLY LOVED ME THE LOVE WOULD HAVE STOPPED YOU FROM CHEATING!” Now, I would have been at the fore front of the Women Speaking Out protest nodding merrily along with the best of them but truth be told, recent events have made me stop mid-nod and re-access my stance. Your love for me and my love for you does not extinguish the human in me. Your love only improves on the flawed human that I am, sometimes so much so that I am so far from what I was that I may be considered “…a different person!”

Love is not a magic potion that wipes away the realities of our humanity. They still remain. It is up to each of us to constantly make an effort to discipline those parts of our humanity that shield the deity present in each of us, deposited at creation (Genesis 2:7).

Looking For Trouble...With A Torchlight

“There is fire on the mountain and nobody seems to be on the run.
There is fire on the mountain top….and no one is a’ running.
One day the river will overflow and there'll be nowhere
for us to go and we will run, run...
wishing we had put out the fire...”

-Asa’s Fire On The Mountain

If you know me, you know I have no qualms in spending the larger portion of my day roaming the world wide web in search of tomfoolery and brain-touch inducing activity. It was on one of my merry virtual reality strolls, just this morning, that I came across the madness and mayhem that has swept through the city of Jos.

Now I’m not one for bandwagon climbing, I hate squashed sitting….squeezes my well-rounded hips (DON’T JEALOUS ME!!) for one thing. But today, I had to kindly ask someone to ‘dress’ for me as I joined the bandwagon of Nigerians discussing The Jos Crisis…yes, I even adopted the fancy name too….I’m an all or nothing kind of girl.

Before your eyes glaze over with Heard It All Before Special Glaze & Ointment, I will tell you that I don’t know the specific details; neither the economic nor religious basis, for this particular crisis. Or indeed any other that has occurred in Jos in recent times so I’m not about to wax lyrical on the joys of Islam over Christianity (or vice versa). Or how the killings are probably more a reflection of economic frustration thinly veiled by a veneer of religion culminating in battles for the Good Lawds sake. But as I said, I know nothing about the madness in Jos. *ahem*. Honestly, I have no in-depth analysis of the situation, I’ve only visited Jos once and I have no friends from Plateau state(…can you believe that Loyola students?!?!).

BUT, the reason for this article is that as I continue to hear of the Jos riots, then the loss of property in Jos, then the killing of some people in Jos, THEN the slaying of children and young mothers in what appears to be mass numbers (hell, even one child is one too many!), I -like many other Nigerians- sit and think, “That kind of sucks you know. Well, its not reaaaaally MY problem like that sha. I mean the government should handle it” etc.


Today that thought was quickly followed by two others. For one thing, it’s started in Jos but there is every chance of the mayhem spreading if it is not contained…just like militant activity spread from Rivers state to the surrounding states, I believe its only a matter of time before the madness spreads like a bushfire. Yes, a bushfire. Lol. So who knows if I will be able to say “Its not really MY problem like that sha…” by this time next year?


Secondly if the drama, indeed the Mexican soap opera one might be tempted to call The Rich Also Cry, that has been playing in Aso Rock recently is to be believed, the presidents (all 3 of them) don’t have time for Jos. Between the Tom and Jerryism of the ailing and hearty, the deployment of hoards of (apparently jobless) soldiers on one of YOUR president’s return to guard him from what I can only assume is a fear of someone shooting him with the vaccine for mortality, and two full houses of working senators and government officials who from all indications believe that ruling is best done by mass pepper-souping, big-stouting and skirt-chasing, Jos will not be saved by politricks.

If Jos is to be helped, it’s up to us; ordinary people with a sympathy for suffering human beings…and an understanding that actions yell louder than words ever could.

So while we cant all go a-volunteering in Jos…hell, I thought about volunteering for all of 5 minutes, after all I happily considered going to Haiti to help (partly due to the sunshine and heat. Don’t judge me until you’ve witnessed the weave-scattering breeze of the English isles). My volunteering dreams were cut off sharply by the honest admission to myself that I’d much rather die by the earth splitting …than by an Aboki’s swiftly approaching machete. YES, I am your regular garden-variety coward.

Now as a mini-amazon myself *cough* you might be forgiven for grabbing pistons and catapults in the belief that this is some form of call to arms for all Nigerian youth, especially in the diaspora. It is not. (Odiri put down your curling tong…..No, Andie that mascara stick is not the one). Yeah, so its not. This is more to ask for suggestions on ways we can help.





Homies, bestoes, hypothec niggas, children of God, what can we do to help?? I am so sure there must be something that we can do. I thought about donating to the Red Cross for instance? I know, I know it might be a tad late with the number of people already dead but surely if they have even one child in need of treatment whose healing we can contribute to, it might be worth it. We can work individually or as a team…basically I just need suggestions on what I can do to help but I can’t be bothered to ask you all individually….only have 650 free minutes etc.

And a “Let’s just pray for them” won’t do. Sorry.

You See The Problem Is...

Ok, I have no reason to be blogging at this crucial moment between criminal litigation and tax exams(the fun does NOT stop around these here parts, itoldya!)....BUT, I honestly believe it is my civic duty to disseminate useless information to the plebeians. You might say it's a calling, in fact.

I slack, I slack, I slack but today, yes kneegroes & gentlefolk, today I have found the holy grail that will bring forgiveness for my slacking, renewed confidence in my abilities and joyful smiles all round as angels snap their fingers, diva-like, in beat with this lady-man's tempo.

With many chuckles and genuine fascination, I introduce;

Ask Eefy.



The level to which the English language is slayed in this short clip is frankly, unprecedented.

Solid advice though.Lol.

I heard...

"My dad told me " When you are in a relationship with a woman you know is too good for you...Marry.Her".

-Ashton Kutcher's character in Valentine's Day.

Favourite Things....Valentine Edition...

SONNET XVII

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

-Pablo Neruda

Our forefathers say...

"Na small sh*t dey stain pint*.."


-Warri proverbs from Warri No Dey Carry Last

*[pant]

I heard...

Grace: "How hot is the new cook?"
Will (looking pained): "He is so hot he doesn't even need to put the cookies in the oven, he just walks past them and winks."

Another stellar line from Will & Grace

"Things Fall Apart, The Centre Can Not Hold..."

*Tear


So, I think we all agree that the problem with Nigeria is a serious touching of some faulty wires in the brains of the general populace.

Amongst Nigerians, you get the uncomfortable feeling that half the inhabitants of the Pride of Africa must score disturbingly high on the “10 Ready Steps To Prove You Are INDEED An Onye-ara*”. The other half are animals cleverly disguised as humans and sent by the Council of Titled Elders of the Forest to spy on nature’s greatest enemy, man.

I am a zebra.

*ahem*

Friends, homies and countrymen, Nigerians stay falling our own hand! We do not need any colonial masters or natural disasters, no! no! NO! On our own we are exceedingly and abundantly, far more than able to litter our garri with pyramid portions of sand. Yes indeed fellow Nigerians, we, we, WE are the ones that stay pouring sand in our garri.

“How?” I see you turn to your neighbour on the left and right, like you are in a Pentecostal church ‘helping pastor preach’, and ask “HOW?!”

Well, I humbly submit that it is the small things that we Nigerians do, not just to foreigners, but to ourselves that show a strong desire to take four solid steps back for every baby step forward.In a typical discussion about the state of Africa by African-college-students-in-the-diaspora, a Togolese friend once ended the recurring statement "The problem with Africa is...." with the words, "....the ‘Crab In Bucket’ syndrome". I believe this analogy is also an appropriate ending to the "The problem with Nigeria is....?" question.

The Crab In Bucket analogy is a popular one. It simply refers to an envious mentality that propels the envying party to pull down others in their quest to achieve what Mr Crab the Envious has not. Such thinking is endemic in the Nigerian society. In practice, Mr Abe Crab at the bottom of the barrel would rather die fighting a chubby lion than see Mr Bibi Crab leave the barrel alive....best we all die together than work together to find a way out of this mess....or heaven forbid, one person escape to call for help.

Why? Why though? If you have been unable to progress then biko dress make another person pass dey go!...*ahem* In English, please give way for someone else to make it even if you haven’t. No one thinks, “Maybe the crab who gets out of the barrel can stretch a claw for another one of us Insider Crabs to hold on to and maybe get pulled out of this place?” Nope, no such thinking in my country. In Nigeria all the other crabs in the barrel hold onto the rescuing claw....solely with the intention of pulling Free Crab back into the abyss of the stinking barrel.

It is this mentality on which my boarding school’s informal motto was founded. The oft chanted mantra “Every man for himself and God for us all” taught us 10 year olds, to get ahead by any means necessary. It also helped the effective channelling of our inner fraudster; “Yes new teacher, that’s spelt B-E-Y-O-N-C-E Knolwes”....ah, there were many hip-hop stars missing from the detention room when punishment time came. Oh wicked generation!....

Lol.

NOW, I hear you ask your pente-rascal neighbour, “How realistic is this crab scenario she paints?” Very real I tell you. From the smallest and most useless times to the vital choices, the ‘Crab Barrel’ mentality is obvious. The most fascinating situaion I think, is the undiluted envy that pollutes the comment section on blogs. The busy city streets of cyber space are already heavily littered with what Sarah Palin tells Oprah are "...the haters" (Please withdraw your application as I have already applied to the United Negro Association for Annoying Hip hop Oriented Slangs (UNAAHOS), for the immediate abolition of that word).
Blogs are already recognised as the designated war zone of cyber space. The heat is fiercest on Nigerian blogs, here the unequipped in real life always arrive fully garbed in militia gear; ak-47s, tankers, cannons and grenades ready to Mutallab any and every unsuspecting blog post.

Especially wedding posts.

And it goes something like this:
Comment one on article on Nigerian wedding;

“Beautiful decor, I wish the couple a lifetime of happiness, many children and the choicest of blessings from King Jesus.”

(...As if Commenter One knows what is coming after her and feels the need to cover the couple with goodness and felicitations before The Others arrive).

Sure as a lack of electricity on a hot Lagos weekday ending with the letters ‘D-A-Y’, Commenter Two arrives with a random as allllllll hell comment like so;

“The bride is ok. Her eyes are far apart though.”

And like a vulture to impending doom, Commenter Two will descend, destroy and disappear....
...as Midgets, dwarfs and crying doves alike pause and wonder “What does that comment have to do with the (recession-defying) price of bread?”*

Finally I ask you, how can Nigeria progress if her people are deathly allergic to the idea of unity? More contentment…more peace…less envy…better 9j, abi no be so?

And since no discussion on Nigeria is complete in these days of political instability and economic turmoil in Nigeria without a mention of The Two Presidents, I will put my two cents in the fountain. Yes oh! Apparently instability and turmoil just started in the last 75 days with our other presido’s absence…this suffering is all new! But fear not for with Jonathan’s arrival manna and quails mistaken for flying eaglets will fall from the sky in provision for God’s own people...

Nigerians of course.



Now, my two cents; so no one could organise a Skype account for Mr Yar’adua?!?!

Im sure there were compelling reasons (read; a dead man's inability to speak). BUT, If I am indeed wrong then Skype would have been an easy and effective way to silence the crying multitude. But no!...After all, if its simple and honest it is apparently not Nigerian.





ANNOUNCEMENT FROM BROADCASTING NETWORK!!!

Today’s message is heavily spiced with disillusionment. Regular broadcasts will be back shortly. Please change channels if your tastebuds are offended.


*Onye-ara = Mad person.

I heard...

"I always thought there was something strange about the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Something about 7 short men living alone in the woods, without women...and with Napolean complex. It ain't right!"

-Blanche Devereaux from one of the best shows on TV The Golden Girls.

Our forefathers say...

"White cloth wen attend charcoal feast,go get wetin e find go dier"

-Warri proverbs from Warri No Dey Carry Last

Favourite Things

And because I really believe life goes on...hell, I started my first day of the first month of the first year of a new decade with a Nollywood disaster tentatively titled Games Women Play (Part 2)!! Epic Fail? LOL....After this, no greater sign was needed to remind me that while it might a new year, I'm an old me. So a change will only come if I actively do something to stimulate progress.

So this poem is particularly appropriate, its not inspiring or anything but its one of my faves, by another of my fave poets W.H Auden. It always reminds me that the world doesn't stop spinning for anyone. It will not stop and suddenly accede to my demands because I have made resolutions or proclamations in church on the new year's eve. Not unless I actively do my bit to stop it in its tracks...and make it surrender what's mine.

"The Fall of Icarus" by Breughel


"MUSEE DES BEAUX ARTS"

About suffering they were never wrong,
The Old Masters; how well, they understood
Its human position; how it takes place
While someone else is eating or opening a window or just walking dully along;
How, when the aged are reverently, passionately waiting
For the miraculous birth, there always must be
Children who did not specially want it to happen, skating
On a pond at the edge of the wood:
They never forgot
That even the dreadful martyrdom must run its course
Anyhow in a corner, some untidy spot
Where the dogs go on with their doggy life and the torturer's horse
Scratches its innocent behind on a tree.
In Breughel's Icarus, for instance: how everything turns away
Quite leisurely from the disaster; the ploughman may
Have heard the splash, the forsaken cry,
But for him it was not an important failure; the sun shone
As it had to on the white legs disappearing into the green
Water; and the expensive delicate ship that must have seen
Something amazing, a boy falling out of the sky,
had somewhere to get to and sailed calmly on.
-W.H Auden


"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned in life: It goes on."
-Robert Frost

HAPPY NEW YEAR....

I was going to start the new year with an inspiring quote like Edith Lovejoy Pierce's

"We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day."

But the realist/ pessimist inside drew me to Mark Twain's

"New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual."

LOL.

Not one to be a moist duvet (or wet blanket if you prefer) at this happiest of moments, I'll kindly leave the world with a quote that appeals to your inner "Errr...WTH?!?! face" by Mr Jay Leno:

"New Year's Eve, where old acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive."

LOL.

Happy new year!!!!!! I honestly (perhaps foolishly) believe something wonderful is around the corner. For me at least!

Our forefathers say...

"Man wey like sleep na for him dream him roof go begin leak"

-Warri proverbs from Warri No Dey Carry Last